Friday, August 20, 2010

How to Keep Enjoying a Relationship and Deal With its Problems

 Being single can be great fun. Going out with no worries, flirting around, scoring with girls/guys you always liked. Eventually though, you either get attached and fall in love with someone, or you decide you want to go out looking for a lover to share your life with. However, whether that relationship will stick around forever or not is a completely different issue.

Image from: keturahweathers.theworldrace.org
 When you do get into a relationship, in the beginning, it feels great. Everything is enjoyable when you two are together, even sitting in the most boring, worn out room you can imagine, simply staring at each other would still be amazing. The kissing takes you to another world, and the sex; better than anything you can do when you're single. However, problems start to rise from nowhere as the relationship progresses, sometimes as soon as a few days, and sometimes as late as years. The answer lies in keeping the relationship as exciting and eventful as it was in the first day. Sounds simple? Not at all! This can be a challenge to a lot of relationships today, but fear not, for in the name of Gandass the Great, it can be done!

 So how do you do it? Good question.

 To help you keep a relationship enjoyable and fun, I've made a list for you to follow:

  • Try new things! This is the utmost important step and many steps that follow are based on this! The reason you loved the relationship in the beginning is because it was completely new to you, so don't stop now, grab your soul mate and go on with your adventure!

  • Sex. Yes. A lot of people tell me this isn't important. "You know Amer, sex in a relationship isn't everything, it's perverted to think like that." I get that a lot! Sex might not be everything, but it's damn close! When you have sex or perform "sexual acts" with your partner, you two become one, for the lack of a better word. From the moment you two step into the bedroom till the next morning, the feeling of oneness can be overwhelming. Sex alone can fix a whole load of problems alone, talk about hitting two birds with a stone.

    Sex can also be a way to know when a relationship is going down. When your partner refuses to have sex with you for a longer than normal time, you know something's up, so get up and fix it!

  • This one is based on the previous two. When you combine trying new things out and sex you get the perfect recipe for excitement. Nothing can be more exciting than trying out new exotic fantasies you always wanted to do. Remember, no one's watching, don't be shy about it; play pretend (the adult version) with your love, you won't regret it! Oh, and for the equation (write it down now!):

                                     Let S be Sex, N be New Things, and P be Paradise
                                                                  S + N = P
  • Travel! Take a vacation with your partner. It can be the most rewarding experience in your relationship. Just being on that plane, before your plane even lands in the destination, with you and your partner, side by side, holding hands and sleeping on each other can bring that feeling of oneness I mentioned before. Tropical destinations recommended!

    Of course some of you might find traveling unfeasible at the moment for any reason you might have. If that's the case, go out on a road trip! Here in Dubai, a 3 hour road trip can take you from a multinational metropolis to the quiet, Hajar mountains famous for their cool weather in the eastern parts of the U.A.E. 

  • When you do travel, go on an adventure. Explore the unknown beaches, rent a bungalow in the middle of the rain forest, or even find your very own private nature spot somewhere out their in the world, just for the two of you! ;)

  • Be daring, change your look every once in a while. That way, your partner will always find you interesting. And if for whatever reason he/she didn't like it, it gives them a chance to boast their "style skills" and tell you what to change, it puts a smile on both your faces. Whether or not that skill exists though is a completely different story.

  • If some problems persist but you do find other parts of the list working, then talk to your partner alone about what you like about him/her, and what he/she likes about you, then solve the problems in a civilized way and end the talk with a kiss. Don't for any reason whatsoever start the conversation with the infamous "We need need to talk..." and co. That will kick-start your partner into paranoia and will make them think you're ending it!

If you're reading this, but your problem is that your partner isn't so nice to you and causes you lots of pain, then the answer is to leave that person and date someone who can actually take care of you and vice versa, and not limit your freedom. Trust me people, if you're in a painful relationship, you're missing out on all I mentioned above! Do you really want to be made fun of every time you mention something on the list to your partner? Or (for you girls) get beaten up by an abusive boyfriend for suggesting a vacation? Leave him/her now and find yourself someone who will respect you and one you can love, and not just get attached to, as is the case with abusive partners (Yes, it's attachment not love you're feeling!).

Image from: victoriabcphotography.blogspot.com


This is of course a topic I will keep writing about, there are lots of things to cover here, so stay tuned!

P.S. For those of you who recently left a bad relationship and want to move on, see this article I posted.

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